3 posts from October 2009

OMG its my bday once again!!!! I still cant believe im almost 30! geez...time flies!!!! 

 

I feel like crap! lately ive been really down... this is the reason why it sucks to be so transparent cuz ppl notice no matter how much u try to pull a smile on your lovely face... theyd think im trying hard to hide it when its not working... ...*sigh*... i hope im not on my way to depression again but from the looks of it... i think im almost there... as in 90% there... im crying a lot too... without valid reasons just lame reasons... loneliness, i hate this empty feeling... i dunno how did i get here... cant even focus with studies, im trying, i shouldnt give up the fight, but sometimes i feel like giving up, dunno... sometimes i like to think that maybe i really need a visit to the psychologist...  maybe not.... maybe im just overreacting... whatever, i just feel like letting it out here.... ive been lazy to write in my paper diary again. :(

here's one of my fave songs: maybe tomorrow

I really dunno what the hell is wrong with me!!!! but seriously it happened when i went back to work after being away for so looooong... exactly a whole month, im telling u this is gonna be the last time I am leaving work for 30days unless I go back to pinas cuz in that case itll be different... or maybe not? anyway, whatever I am trying to say here doesnt make any sense its just that I feel the need to talk to someone and aside from this blog ive got no one to talk to.... how sad isnt it? so here i am....  babbling... bla bla bla bla... blablabla blaaaaaaa....

Recently, i just started online school (child education 3yr course) and as usual my catalan course (level 3) also, aside from work Ive been busy looking for a new place to live... yes, uve read it right and I kid u not, I am tired of sharing! and of course jobhunting while at it, I think i am ready to leave that work, I cant deny that Ive learned a lot but its not the same anymore! 2 workmates already left to a different place and I dont like my new team at all, cuz theres this super old woman who shouldnt be there, i know i shouldnt talk like this but ehhhh i am really pissed off! >_<

Also, ive been sharing the flat with my 2 roomates for a whole year and I dont get a lot of privacy these days, theres this spanish saying: "too much trust is disgusting" it sounds much better in spanish though, gahhhh how I wish I could afford a small flat here in the city but I guess I'll have to settle for living in a nearby village, so far, Ive been checking out  manresa cuz I have a friend who lives there and shes paying a small amount that i could afford so shes helping me check some apartments, I still dunno... I mean, yes I am SO ready to move out but... I dont like villages! theyre oh so boring unlike here in the city anytime anyplace everythings here! its sooo different!!!! plus u'll have to depend on the train cuz Im not planning to buy any car in the near future, but then again I will be on my own.... which is what I really want, right? heck, thats my priority! so now to cheer me up I must think about going shopping at ikea to buy my own stuff! :P exciting! u know what, i should go to ikea one of these days but first i gotta make a list! :P yeah what did u expect? LOL

Of course u must be thinking that I complain a LOT but why the hell I dont do anything to solve my situation... well, yes Ive been submitting a whole bunch of resumes online and its a matter of time, I dont care if I have to go back to waitressing again as long as the pay is good and the schedule is kinda nice so I'll still have time to study in the afternoon, I could work in a coffeeshop, starbucks? haha, we'll see!

so far here are the things that I might do tom:

grocery shopping
clean the kitchen
saw uniform pants
send coat to drycleaners
buy black ink
print more resumes
check that cheap store called tati
exercise
drink 1lt water
homework ca
homework ce
watch a movie
read
call julia

ok thats it for now but im pretty sure theres more so ill add them here later while i cross out the rest ;)

Bona nit! Z__z